“What are you most excited about as you look forward to the next year?”
David smiled as he asked the question. It was my birthday dinner, and we have a tradition of thinking about the past year and anticipating the future each time we celebrate. David’s expression said it all – he knew exactly how I’d answer.
Two years ago he asked me a similar question, and my answer was just as predictable that time. On my twenty-sixth birthday, I couldn’t wait to have a baby. I never imagined I wouldn’t be a mom by twenty-eight.
To say our struggle with infertility has been difficult would be an understatement. It’s also not the whole story. We’ve tasted God’s goodness in ways we hadn’t before. We’ve had to rely on Him for strength and satisfaction. We’ve learned how to rejoice with those who rejoice, even when we were mourning. And we’ve found His Word to be the firm foundation we desperately needed.
The discouragement seemed interminable at times, and I often found myself pouring over Psalm 71 and Psalm 77. These chapters in particular resonated with me and expressed emotions I didn’t know how to put into words. I regularly used Psalm 77:14 as a one-sentence prayer and sermon to self: “You are the God who works wonders.”
Daily, I reminded myself that God’s power is limitless, and I’d pray for Him to do what felt impossible. As I begged God to work a wonder in my womb, I had no idea He was working wonders in my heart. While I still believe He’s able to allow me to conceive a child – and I hope He does – I can’t deny how He has already answered my prayers, albeit in ways I didn’t expect. Just because God doesn’t do the wonders we ask for doesn’t mean He isn’t doing something wonderful.
A few days ago when David asked what I was most looking forward to next year, he smiled because the answer wasn’t a secret. “Adopting our son,” I said, the joy on my face matching his. The two of us are so excited about God’s leading in our lives and feel privileged at the opportunity in front of us.
When I shared with David a few months ago that I felt God leading us to prayerfully consider international adoption, I was surprised to learn he’d sensed the same direction. In fact, he shared that over the past two years, he had been researching adoption and exploring agencies on his own. When I asked why he never mentioned it to me, he graciously answered, “You just weren’t ready yet.”
God was working wonders.
God’s work in our lives over the past few years – and specifically in leading us to our future son – has reminded us of the greatest wonder of all. Scripture teaches that before the foundation of the world, God decided to adopt us into His family at great cost to Himself (Ephesians 1:3-6). Because of His sacrificial love, we’ve been raised from spiritual deadness, given a new name, and share in a heavenly inheritance. Jesus Himself is not ashamed to call us His blood-bought siblings (Hebrews 2:11).
We are trusting God to continue working wonders as we anticipate bringing our son home in the next year. As we imperfectly extend the love we’ve been shown, we pray that he would come to know the love of a perfect Father and would experience a better adoption into an eternal family.
What a wonder that would be.
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